Space Travel Tips – A humorous look at business travel 200 years from now

Since none of us our traveling right now, I present a humorous look at Space Business Travel. Imagine for a moment it’s the year 2220, and space travel is prevalent. What will it look like? What are the gripes business travelers will face then? Will ThePointsGuy still be hawking credit cards? These questions and more are here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy and be safe wherever you are.

Note: this article was first posted in 2019 and I’ve dusted it off in honor of today’s Travel Tip Tuesday (and because I couldn’t really get excited about anything else travel related today).

It’s 2220 & Space Travel is Commonplace (which is why you need space travel tips!)

I’ve been watching Amazon Prime’s show The Expanse. There’s a scene in Season 1, Episode 8, where one of the main characters travels to another space station aboard some sort of passenger ship. There are many other travelers aboard including families, business travelers, etc. It immediately reminded me of business travel and got me thinking: what’s the life of a business traveler like in space in say 200 years or so? What are the Space Travel Tips you need to survive and get the most out of your next space trip for business?

By the way, if you are not watching The Expanse you need to be. It’s one of the best shows on “TV” (it’s on Amazon Prime) these days. For more on it, check out my article The Expanse (aka Game of Thrones for Space) – Best Shows To Watch While Traveling.

Back in 2019, I posed this question to the Reddit community and started putting my creative juices to work. This article is the result. A fun, futuristic look at business travel life in space! Enjoy – and please join the conversation by leaving your comments, below, or you can tweet me @CBoardingGroup with the hashtag: #SpaceTravelTips.

It’s the year 2220. Space travel is commonplace. We’ve colonized our solar system and established space stations on the Moon, Mars and numerous asteroid belts throughout our system.

Countless space stations traverse our galaxy. People routinely live their entire lives “in space.” Ships ferry passengers between planets, space stations, asteroids and more.

Business travel is more popular than ever. Business travelers include:

  • Salespeople selling space ship parts, AI systems, digital cranial backups of your consciousness and all kinds of typical items
  • Musicians traveling for gigs on far away planets and stations
  • Asteroid miners doing lengthy mining stints before returning home
  • Consultants (c’mon…you knew there’d be consultants!)
  • Travel Blogger hawking credit cards (you knew they’d be there!) – yeah, I know we hawk ’em here too…but we don’t sell too many.

Affluent families regularly vacation in places requiring space travel. And the business travelers employing the smartest space travel tips are, of course, travel smoother than everyone!

Space Travel Tips – What you Need to Know to Survive a business trip in space

  1. Never puke in zero G – it’s not cool bro.
  2. When renting a landspeeder from National Rent a Ship, don’t forget to to get your Plutonium Points.
  3. When checking in to the Hilton Spaceport Suites on Vesta ask for the upgrade to the to Executive Level – it’s got a great view of Jupiter and comes with free gravity boots.
  4. When on your 7 month flight to Mars for an hour long face to face meeting with the CEO of Space Haulers, Inc don’t forget to spend some quality time with your kids before you go. They will be a year or two older when you get back and all.
  5. Never check your bag…yep after all these years, it’s still a good rule, even in space. Carry it on with you, duh!
  6. Always get Galactic Pre Check so you can skip the security lines at the spaceport and get on your shuttle that much quicker. No need to wait in line with the refugees fleeing the planet before Elon Musk’s descendants annihilate it.
  7. Don’t forget to register for the frequent flyer program at Virgin Galactic (yeah, they won the space war). After 18,000,000 miles you can upgraded to first class.
  8. The Avis Frequent Landspeeder Renter program still sucks…you never get to pick your landspeeder and it always smells like some space hauler smoked in it (yes, after 200+ years, Avis is still here and they still SUCK!). Better to go with National Rent a Skiff – sometimes you can get upgraded to the Tesla model complete with laser refracter engines.
  9. Be careful with your connection times when connecting through the Moon. They are notorious for delays and getting stuck on ole Luna could hose you up big time.
  10. Stop farting on the space shuttle or you might get spaced by the flight attendant robots.
  11. After traveling through space for 7 months jetlag is a byatch! Might wanna hydrate and take a calcium pill.
  12. Wouldn’t you know it, Marriott Space Hotels got hacked again after allowing unsecured access to their cloud server farm on Mars. Way to go Marriott. Marriott…still bonvoying us after all these years…

Final Thoughts on Space Travel Tips

I hope you enjoyed this fun, silly, and futuristic look at the life of a business traveler in space. Who knows, maybe some of this will actually be true in the next 200 years.

What do you think? What did we miss??

Please join the conversation by leaving your comments, below, or you can tweet me @CBoardingGroup with the hashtag: #SpaceTravelTips or #SpaceTravelLife.

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Space Travel Tips - A humorous look at business travel 200 years from now

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